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You’ve bought the fancy supplements, biohacked your diet and exercise routine, optimized your sleep cycles, and you’ve done it all in the name of longevity. But what if I told you the real fountain of youth was the friends you made along the way? It’s true: Your relationships have a huge impact on biological aging—just as much or even more so than the traditional health markers.
“People think of blood pressure and cholesterol level as what’s really going to measure their health, and they ignore the fact that actually the relationships in your life shape your health as well,” says Dr. Shad Marvasti, MD, MPH, a physician and author of Longevity Made Simple. “And now, the studies are showing that that shaping actually happens at the molecular level, which is something we didn’t know before.”
That doesn’t mean you should swap out every gym sesh for a gab sesh. Social connection is “just one of the pieces of the puzzle that make for a long, successful life,” says Dr. Erika Schwartz, MD, host of the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine podcast, Redefining Medicine, and author of Don’t Let Your Doctor Kill You. (The others are, she and Dr. Marvasti agree, are proper nutrition, exercise, sleep, and hormonal balance.) Still, despite decades of studies showing the lifelong importance of building and maintaining healthy, positive relationships, it’s often the longevity “tip” that gets the least amount of attention.
“Most of us get caught up in the supplements and the expensive biohacks,” says Dr. Marvasti. “[But] investing in your relationships is just as important as investing in your diet, your exercise routine, and your sleep routine.” Plus, there are literally no negative side effects—can your bottle of collagen peptides say that?
Here’s the proof, plus how to strengthen your relationships for a long, healthy, and happy life:
It’s not survival of the fittest—it’s survival of the friendliest.
Since 2010, multiple studies have shown that “social relationships and mortality risks are very closely tied together,” says Dr. Schwartz. In fact, people who had stronger social relationships had a 50 percent increased likelihood of survival compared to those who didn’t, according to a 2010 metanalytic review. And the opposite is true: Social isolation was associated with increased risk for early mortality, found a 2015 meta-anayltic review conducted by members of the same research team. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the “loneliness epidemic” impacts your longevity, too. Social isolation, loneliness, and living alone were all found to be significant risk factors for mortality, particularly in older adults, according to a 2025 meta-analysis of 86 studies.
Social Isolation vs. Loneliness: These two terms are often used interchangeably (especially post-pandemic), but there’s a clear distinction between them. “Loneliness refers to subjective, unpleasant feelings related to perceptions of being alone or disconnected, even when around other people,” says Dr. Erin Engle, PsyD, a psychologist at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center. “Alternatively, social isolation refers to the objective absence of meaningful social relationships, social contact, or support.” For example, you might feel lonely the first time you attend a group dinner with other couples after losing a romantic partner, but you experience social isolation when any form of social support (romantic, platonic, or familial) is unavailable.
Thanks to all these studies, “we know that social connectedness improves functional capacity and longevity,” says Dr. Schwartz. “The more connected people are, whether it’s as part of a couple or with a friend… the more it goes to a reduced mortality risk.” While there are specific longevity benefits to romantic relationships (more on that in a sec), it’s clear that prioritizing your pals comes with plenty of perks, especially for older adults who are divorced or have lost a spouse.
The happier your marriage, the longer you live.
Greater marital quality was associated with better health, including lower risk of mortality and lower cardiovascular reactivity during conflict, and the effect on health outcomes was found to be similar to other behaviors, such as diet and exercise, per a 2015 meta-analytic review. Marriage and cohabitation were also found to have an overall “protective effect” on mortality, per a 2022 study in Thailand. Once again, the opposite is true: The risk of early mortality is 30 percent higher for divorced and separated people compared to married couples, according to a 2014 meta-analysis of 104 studies. (Divorced men, in particular, were found to be more at risk than divorced women, but the differences between men and women decreased with age.)
So just get married, and you’ll not only live happily ever after, but forever, right? Not quite. “You don’t want to just be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship,” says Dr. Marvasti. “A toxic one can have a negative impact on your health, just like a healthy one can have a positive one.”
Case in point: Negative relationship quality, characterized by receiving criticism from a romantic partner, increases older adults’ risk of mortality, according to a 2021 study. The constant conflict increases your levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and your blood pressure, Dr. Marvasti says. “It just releases those toxins more, which basically accelerates aging.”
Isolation leads to inflammation, but connection is the cure.
“We talk about nutrition, we talk about toxins, we talk about a lot of things, but we don’t talk about the stress caused by isolation or by relationships that have ended due to the sudden death of a loved one,” says Dr. Schwartz. “Those are finally being looked at, and they’re showing how they create really functional limitations in physical capacity and in mental capacity.”
She cites a study from 2023 that used data from the national, longitudinal Mid-Life in the United States (MIDUS) study and found that people who had positive relationships also had fewer functional limitations and increased longevity. “There was less inflammation [and fewer] incidents of heart attacks, strokes, and cancers,” she says. Even among people with a genetic predisposition for certain diseases, those genes will not get activated without certain environmental factors, and social isolation is a more influential factor than previously thought.
Your buds keep your body young.
Even if you weren’t born to be a social butterfly, the desire for human connection is in your DNA (kinda). It’s all about the telomeres, which is a region of repetitive DNA sequences at the end of a chromosome that protect it from becoming frayed or tangled. “The longer the telomeres are, the longer we live,” says Dr. Schwartz. Telomere length is a key indicator of cellular aging because each time a cell divides, the telomeres become slightly shorter. Eventually, they become so short that the cell can no longer divide, and it dies.
“We’ve been looking at how telomere length is affected by the stress induced by isolation, the stress induced by death, the stress induced by loneliness,” says Dr. Schwartz, referencing a 2019 study. “Sure enough, the telomere length was longer in people who were connected.”
While the power of human connection starts at the cellular level, it doesn’t end there. People with high social engagement had a lower biological age and exhibited overall healthier behaviors than people with less robust social lives, per one 2025 study.
Oxytocin is the longevity supplement you already have at home.
You probably know that oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is released during positive social interactions, but you may not know that oxytocin is thought to play an important role in the healthy aging process, according to the National Library of Medicine. The hormone has been shown to “exert anti-inflammatory properties in both immature and adult brains,” per the NLM, and both oxytocin and its receptor have been linked to telomere length and shown to temper accelerated cellular aging in one 2016 study. However, to date, no human studies have been conducted that demonstrate a cause-and-effect relationship between oxytocin and biological aging.
How to Strengthen Your Relationships for a Longer, Healthier Life
Unlike expensive supps and biohacks, there’s no recommended dosage for relationships. Research shows that the more, the merrier, but when your days are divided between work, caretaking responsibilities, and household duties, you feel like you don’t have a minute to spare for yourself—much less a free hour to chat over coffee, even with your closest friend.
“For adults, setting aside time to connect may feel more difficult from a practical standpoint, compared to when one was in school and surrounded by peers or had more ‘free time’ to socialize,” says Engle. Even so, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) recommends that adults have one to three hours of meaningful social interaction per day, she adds, because it’s suggested that is the minimum amount required to support social health and reduce loneliness.
Sure, that sounds like a lot, but it’s made up of a mix of shared moments with what’s commonly referred to as “strong and weak ties,” i.e., close friends and acquaintances, respectively. To make the most of each interaction, the experts share their advice to live (long) by:
Know that every connection counts.
Whether you’re asking a coworker about their recent vacation or just chatting with the coffee barista, each interaction contributes to you getting your daily dose of meaningful social connection, says Engle. No matter how seemingly superficial or fleeting, every conversation is a deposit in the bank of your health—and theirs, too.
But if you worry about hitting that one-hour minimum because you work from home or live alone, investing in a few key relationships can give you the most bang for your buck. “Research suggests that having a close friend or confidante is good for us and perhaps provides the maximum quality contribution [to health benefits],” says Engle. An in-person meetup is the most beneficial (some research even suggests that it may support reduced depression), she adds, but video chats are also helpful for social connection. Maybe you don’t have the time or money to go out for dinner with a close friend each week, but you can cook a meal together over Facetime instead.
Take stock of your current relationships.
This is a simple, quick, and perhaps obvious tip, but it often gets overlooked. Because negative relationships can have as just much of an impact on longevity as positive ones, make sure you’re investing time and effort into the relationships that already benefit your life, says Dr. Marvasti, like your college pal who’s always got your back. (And if you’ve been considering cutting ties with a toxic friend, know that you’re doing what’s best for you.) After all, you want to be here for a long time and a good time.
Be vulnerable.
“Investing in a relationship is not just picking up the phone and calling,” says Dr. Marvasti. “Vulnerability and trust is a key part of [building] an authentic, meaningful relationship.” He even cites “poker night” as a healthy outlet for men, in particular, to be vulnerable. “You talk about challenges in life, you support each other, and you may not think of that as necessarily a healthy thing,” he says, “but if it provides a space to have those conversations, where people can share things and get that social support, then it can also qualify as that.”
Being vulnerable can deepen an existing connection and support authentic sharing, affirms Engle, but she warns against one-way sharing or oversharing as that can limit closeness or unintentionally push others away. (Translation: Try not to trauma dump.) As long as your desire to be vulnerable comes from a genuine place, and you give your friend(s) an opportunity to share as well, she says, your relationships will only benefit.
Remember that sharing is caring.
“Generosity in relationships can strengthen connection,” says Engle, and it doesn’t cost much. Send the birthday card, offer to initiate plans, share helpful information—often, that’s all it takes to make sure the other person knows you care. But you can (and should) tell them, too. “Sharing affection, or expressing warmth and appreciation, also supports maintaining connection,” says Engle. For example, compliment your work colleague’s contribution to a project, or share how much it means to you when a friend stops by for a visit. Not to mention, it’ll feel good to make them feel good!
Let what you love lead you to like-minded people.
Besides investing in your current relationships, it’s also worth making new ones, especially if you’ve gone through a recent life change, like a big move, a divorce, or the death of a romantic partner. To start, seek out activities and hobbies that offer natural opportunities to connect through shared interests, says Dr. Engle. This can be extra helpful for people who are newly single, she adds, because joining an activity- or hobby-based group not only helps them stay busy, but rekindles interests that affirm their identity.
The built-in benefit of joining an existing community, whether that’s a pickleball league, walking group, or book club, is that it can help you develop personal relationships with individual members, says Dr. Marvasti. (Bonus benefit for any sports-based activities: It hits on two of Dr. Marvasti’s essential elements for longevity, relationships and exercise, at once. The other three are diet, stress, and sleep.)
Plus, whether you’re scoring points on the court or sharing thoughts about a plot twist, activities that make people feel like a contributor further fosters connection, Dr. Schwartz says. This can be specifically beneficial for women in mid-life, as those with higher levels of social integration, notably attending religious activities and participating in group associations, had increased life span and greater likelihood of exceptional longevity, according to a 2019 study.
What’s more: Working with others to accomplish a common goal can give you a sense of meaning and purpose, which also contributes to longevity, says Dr. Marvasti. Volunteer work can be an especially meaningful way to connect while also fulfilling purpose and taking action, Engle adds. But friendships can be forged just as easily through less virtuous pursuits, like around the aforementioned poker table. The key, Dr. Schwartz says, is “finding a passionate way to contribute” because that’s where you’ll find your purpose—and the people who share it.
Choose quality over quantity.
Once upon a time, social media made staying in touch with friends easier than ever. And it’s still one of the most useful means for maintaining long-distance relationships and friendships, says Engle, and it also offers unique gathering spaces and platforms for groups. But the hours you spend scrolling on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook don’t mean you’re actually connecting with anyone—in fact, it tends to have the opposite effect. “Now we’re seeing studies show that excessive use of [social media] has actually contributed to loneliness,” says Dr. Marvasti.
The problem is that most people treat Facebook and Instagram like a highlight reel, and that lack of authentic vulnerability can only foster “superficial friendships,” he explains, rather than deep, meaningful friendships. But those are the only ones that will benefit your overall health and well-being in the long-term. “It’s more important to have a few really high quality friendships and relationships, as opposed to knowing 30 people that you see sporadically and on a very superficial level.”
Now, you don’t need to delete your accounts. Instead, “consider using social media intentionally, as a complement to other forms of social engagement,” says Engle, so you don’t become dependent on it. For example, you can set a daily time limit that automatically locks you out of your social media apps after a designated period of use. Then, think about how you can use that time—call a friend, go to a community event, have a phone-free meal with your partner.
Yes, it takes effort to make and maintain positive relationships, says Engle, but the investment is worth it—not just for your health, but your loved ones’ as well. After all, what’s the point of living a long life without your friends by your side?
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