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Comedians like Louis C.K., Mitch Hedberg, and George Carlin remain among the most memorable, having kept audiences laughing with their sharp and hilarious jokes. Here, we present a fantastic collection of jokes that will give you something to think about and have you laughing out loud.
15. Steven Wright

“For my birthday, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. Then I put them in the same room and let them battle it out.”
14. Bo Burnham

2If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.”
13. Dara O’Briain

“If we were truly created by God, then why do we still occasionally bite the insides of our own mouths?”
12. Christopher Lloyd

“At NASA, we had a poster on the wall. It said, ‘If you’re going to make an omelette, you’ve gotta break a few eggs’. The astronauts did not like that poster.”
11. Steve Martin

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
10. Jimmy Carr

“The first guy who persuaded a blind person they needed sunglasses. He must have been a hell of a salesman.”
9. Demetri Martin

“From checkers I learned that a king is when there’s a guy who looks exactly like another guy right on top of him, but life taught me that that’s a queen.”
8. Eddie Izzard

“Is that a piece of grit, is it money, or is it the Treasure of the Sierra Madre!”
7. Bob Monkhouse

“They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now.”
6. Zach Galifianakis

“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that the other day inside my fort.”
5. George Carlin

“I have as much authority as the pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.”
4. Kevin Hart

“The thing is…. See the way my checking account is set up.”
3. John Mulaney

“Because we’re Delta Airlines, and life is a nightmare.”
2. Louis C.K.

“I don’t finish eating when I’m full. I finish when I hate myself.”
1. Mitch Hedberg

“I’m going to fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new words.”
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