My name is Cori Ritchey, and I am an exercise physiology nerd turned fitness journalist, and the fitness editor at Women’s Health. When I’m not writing, editing, and researching fitness, I’m teaching it to my personal training and group fitness clients. In my new column, Between Sets, I’m pulling back the curtain on the same advice, tips, and ‘aha!’ moments I share with my clients while they’re catching their breath. Stick around for the strategic, science-backed nuggets that’ll help you move better, train smarter, and actually enjoy the process.
There’s a familiar scene in just about every weight room: the Hulk next to you grinding out deadlift reps with rough form—slamming the bar to the ground so hard it makes you question if an earthquake just happened. They’re often get labeled as “ego lifters”: people reaching for weights that might be a step ahead of their current readiness, all in the name of chasing gains.
It’s easy to roll our eyes or offer a quiet wince for their low backs. But hear me out: the Hulk-types and weight slammers of the world might be onto something (whether they realize it or not).
We all know that progress—in basically anything—requires effort. The tricky part is that effort in the gym is uniquely hard to measure. When you have an outside pressure (like a deadline, a boss, or a grade), it’s often easier to push. But when you’re accountable only to yourself, and you’re the sole beneficiary of the work? It becomes much easier to ease up and tell yourself you’ve done enough.
For example, I’m constantly pushing my clients to add more weight to their exercises. I’ve seen what they can do, and I know they have more in the tank. I’ll bring over a heavier set of dumbbells, and more often than not, they stare back at me with a look that says, “Absolutely not. No chance.”
And guess what? They lift those heavier weights successfully. Every. Single. Time.
This raises a hot-button question: What if a little ego in the gym isn’t necessarily a bad thing?
In order to lift heavy enough to change your body, I believe you need at least a little ego—enough to believe you can handle the weight, and to push yourself close to failure when it counts.
There’s nothing “natural” about pushing your muscles to the end of exhaustion. And, if you’re doing something like back squats … yeah, there’s nothing comfortable about having a massive weight stuck on your back while your brain contemplates whether you’re going to be able to stand back up (and we wonder why lifting feels intimidating to people?!).
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It absolutely takes confidence to walk in the gym and say, “I’m going to pick up this incredibly heavy thing and move it in a way I’m not 100 percent sure I even can.” Of course, there’s a line—cross it and you’re flirting with injury, which no one wants. But if you can manage your ego intelligently, it can get you to your goals faster than you’d expect.
A colleague of mine (Men’s Health’s fitness director, Ebenezer Samuel) once told me: when picking a weight, you should have the slightest twinge of doubt that you’ll make it through the last two reps. I’ve held onto that sentiment—and it’s had a profound effect on my workouts. I am not just grabbing weights I know I can handle. I choose ones that make me think, “Okay…this might get spicy.”
That little doubt is a sign you’re actually challenging your body—which is exactly what sparks change. But you then have to have the confidence to go for it anyway.
Easier said than done, of course. My clients are lucky to have me (ah ha—there’s my ego); they have an external motivator to push them. If you don’t have that available, there are other ways to spark confidence.
4 Tricks To Boost Your Lifting Confidence
It will take practice more than anything else. The more time you spend on the weight floor maneuvering heavy loads, the more comfortable you get being uncomfortable. But if you want a few extra ways to feel solid while you chase those PRs, say no more:
Enlist a lifting buddy.
Maybe the gym is your sanctuary—headphones glued on, no talking, just vibes. I get it, I’m typically a solo gym-goer myself. But, the benefits of training with a partner go well beyond the social interactions. Having someone there to push you (especially if you don’t have a trainer) can level you up way faster than you’d do alone. Sometimes you just need a hype-person to push you out of your comfort zone.
If you can’t commit to working out with someone consistently, take inventory of those around you in the gym. Most gyms come with that one person who somehow knows everyone—and they’re usually more than happy to spot you and cheer you on through a heavy set. Get friendly with them, and see what you can accomplish when someone has an eye on you (not in a creepy way).
Have a bailout plan.
Rule #1 when lifting heavy: take all safety precautions.
You’ll be way more willing to try a bigger weight if you know, with certainty, that you can get out of it safely. Set up the safety bars. Increase weight in small increments, and only when you’re sure your form is spot-on. Use a spotter when you’re trying something new for the first time. “Better safe than sorry” hits different when there’s a weight on your back.
Gauge your rep speed.
Not sure when to level up? Notice how fast your reps move.
If muscle development is the goal, your last few reps should slow down and feel like real work. It should take you two, three, even four seconds to push your way out of those last few reps. Don’t think this struggle is a bad thing—it’s a sign you’re doing exactly what you need to be doing.
Own it.
Not to sound like a sketchy Instagram life coach, but: you really are more capable than you think. You will always be able to handle more than you feel like you can. Do it intelligently, and the payoff from pushing yourself in the gym will vastly outweigh the risks.
The goal isn’t letting your ego override proper form, common sense, or basic gym etiquette. If your confidence is pushing you into sloppy reps, or main-character behavior that’s distracting the people around you in the gym, it’s no longer serving you.
But when your ego is grounded in self-awareness, and you know your limits and what safe technique looks like, it can be such a powerful tool.
So go ahead—have a healthy amount of ego. You and your body are capable of hard things, and that’s worth being confident about.
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