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Regardless of supporting my mom and grandmother financially, my household nonetheless labels me as “egocentric” for not lending cash to my sister for her home buy.
I’m a 28-year-old male IT engineer, incomes an honest wage. Over eight years of labor, I’ve saved roughly VND2 billion (US$81,400) via financial savings and small-scale investing. This cash, saved in a financial savings account, helps me assist my mom and grandmother, who can’t work anymore. I additionally earn revenue from renting out a room.
I’m at the moment residing with my girlfriend and overlaying all our residing prices. Our household’s monetary standing ranges between poor and reasonably well-off, so I can’t count on any monetary help from them for future bills like marriage or shopping for a home. Marriage is thus not in my speedy plans, as I’m preoccupied with quite a few duties.
My sister, whose revenue is lower than mine, not too long ago requested to borrow over VND1 billion to purchase a home. She didn’t specify a compensation timeline, so it’s unsure—it may be 5, nevertheless it can be 10 or 15 different years till she pays me. I refused, which led her to accuse me of being egocentric.
It’s not that I’m unwilling to assist. However I feel I labored exhausting for my financial savings. Apart from, I must safe funds for my mom and grandmother, particularly if I lose my job sooner or later. Approaching 30 and in a four-year relationship, I really feel the necessity to plan for a household with my girlfriend as effectively, which incorporates monetary preparation for marriage and a home.
Nonetheless, my household focuses on my excessive wage and considers me egocentric for not lending the cash. This hurts as a result of believing in self-reliance and never burdening others, I’ve prioritized others’ wants since I used to be 20, spending my financial savings on household whereas neglecting my very own wants.
I’m perplexed as to why I’m criticized for not lending cash to my sister and why my household expects favors and reacts negatively when they’re unmet.
Am I actually being egocentric for considering this manner?