At 28 and having been collectively for 4 years, my boyfriend and I face the problem of not inheriting important wealth from our households.
I’m one in all three siblings, and the household home might be handed to my brother, leaving me and my sister to affix our husbands of their houses. Having married right into a wealthier household, my sister already enjoys the independence of her own residence.
My boyfriend’s household owns a modest three-story dwelling, the place he and his brother could every inhabit a flooring if unable to buy separate properties post-marriage, his mother and father mentioned. This association doesn’t attraction to me, as I want to not reside with my in-laws. Consequently, I’ve urged my boyfriend to earn sufficient for us to purchase our own residence earlier than contemplating marriage. He has dedicated to doing his greatest with out additional remark.
His job efficiency has been enhancing these days, permitting him to save lots of VND20-30 million (US$811-$1,217) month-to-month. Together with his extra financial savings of VND500 million and two gold taels, we projected proudly owning a house by 30 with out resorting to expensive financial institution loans, setting that as our timeline for marriage.
But, my boyfriend unexpectedly expressed a want to finish our relationship final week, citing a mismatch in our existence and a discomfort round me, which took me without warning. Assuming I might be the one to doubtlessly finish issues, I reached out to his shut pal, who was additionally my classmate, for perception. The pal revealed my boyfriend’s emotions of isolation in our relationship, attributing it to my preliminary aloofness and steady strain for monetary stability by means of dwelling and automotive possession.
He in contrast our scenario unfavorably to our mother and father’ extra collaborative unions and expressed feeling unsupported in sharing his struggles, stemming from my previous detrimental feedback on males expressing vulnerability.
Moreover, my boyfriend felt overwhelmed by his job and my comparisons to mates with prosperous spouses, feeling his efforts had been unrecognized.
This revelation has left me questioning our compatibility and whether or not pursuing this relationship, given its pressure, is worth it. I’m now considering our future, recognizing the potential for a lifelong burden ought to we proceed below these circumstances.
What ought to I do?