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At 28 and having been collectively for 4 years, my boyfriend and I face the problem of not inheriting vital wealth from our households.
I’m one among three siblings, and the household home can be handed to my brother, leaving me and my sister to affix our husbands of their properties. Having married right into a wealthier household, my sister already enjoys the independence of her own residence.
My boyfriend’s household owns a modest three-story residence, the place he and his brother might every inhabit a ground if unable to buy separate properties post-marriage, his dad and mom mentioned. This association doesn’t attraction to me, as I desire to not dwell with my in-laws. Consequently, I’ve urged my boyfriend to earn sufficient for us to purchase our own residence earlier than contemplating marriage. He has dedicated to doing his greatest with out additional remark.
His job efficiency has been bettering recently, permitting him to save lots of VND20-30 million (US$811-$1,217) month-to-month. Together with his further financial savings of VND500 million and two gold taels, we projected proudly owning a house by 30 with out resorting to expensive financial institution loans, setting that as our timeline for marriage.
But, my boyfriend unexpectedly expressed a want to finish our relationship final week, citing a mismatch in our life and a discomfort round me, which took me unexpectedly. Assuming I might be the one to probably finish issues, I reached out to his shut good friend, who was additionally my classmate, for perception. The good friend revealed my boyfriend’s emotions of isolation in our relationship, attributing it to my preliminary aloofness and steady stress for monetary stability by residence and automobile possession.
He in contrast our scenario unfavorably to our dad and mom’ extra collaborative unions and expressed feeling unsupported in sharing his struggles, stemming from my previous adverse feedback on males expressing vulnerability.
Moreover, my boyfriend felt overwhelmed by his job and my comparisons to pals with prosperous spouses, feeling his efforts had been unrecognized.
This revelation has left me questioning our compatibility and whether or not pursuing this relationship, given its pressure, is worth it. I’m now considering our future, recognizing the potential for a lifelong burden ought to we proceed below these circumstances.
What ought to I do?