NEED TO KNOW
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A woman said her boyfriend booked a Thailand holiday without discussing it, despite their differing travel planning styles
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When she booked her own Christmas trip, he told her he was “baffled,” sparking frustration over what she saw as a double standard
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She asked Reddit whether she was wrong for making her own plans after he made his
A woman turned to the Reddit community for support following a disagreement with her boyfriend over holiday travel that left her feeling blindsided and frustrated.
She explained that they had very different approaches to travel, saying she was someone who needed to book in advance because of work and money concerns, while he preferred to make last-minute decisions since “he makes a lot more” and could afford spontaneity.
In her post, she said they had loosely talked about going to Thailand in December, but nothing was confirmed, noting that it “wasn’t a real plan” because he still didn’t know his annual leave dates. She shared that she told him a few days earlier that she didn’t think she would go anymore, explaining she couldn’t suddenly drop “£800–£1k on flights out of nowhere.”
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Stock photo of a woman on vacation
Despite that conversation, she said her boyfriend booked his Thailand flights the next day without telling her beforehand. She said he messaged afterward and mentioned there were “options for me to come,” which left her feeling like he had made a unilateral decision about a trip they were supposed to be taking together.
Once she accepted she was no longer going, she booked a trip home for Christmas. Surprisingly, her boyfriend reacted with irritation and told her he was “baffled” that she booked something without discussing it, even though he had done the same thing less than a day before.
He insisted Thailand “was always the plan,” even though she had already told him she wasn’t going, and nothing had been finalized until he booked his own flights. She added that he even claimed he thought she would be checking fares so they could end up on the same flight, despite her insisting she wasn’t joining him.
According to her, the situation started to feel like a clear double standard. She pointed out that “he can book things on his own, but when I do the same, it’s suddenly an issue,” leaving her unsure why her autonomy upset him when he exercised his freely.
Money also played a role in the argument, and she emphasized the imbalance between their incomes. She said he expected her to contribute equally to trips, which she didn’t mind when they planned ahead, but it became unreasonable when his last-minute choices meant the costs shot up beyond what she could manage.
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Even after she explained her position multiple times, she said he kept sending her flight options as if she hadn’t made her decision clear. She described feeling pressured to reconsider even though she had set boundaries around both the cost and the planning timeline.
Commenters quickly sided with her and emphasized the financial gap that shaped the conflict. One person wrote that if he wanted her to come despite the last-minute prices, “he can help fund it.”
“Is he always this controlling?” another commenter questioned. “You made a reasonable boundary and his ignoring it is a red flag. BIGGER RED FLAG….he book a couple’s trip flights without ensuring you were getting tickets at the same time. Biggest red flag, expecting you to jump and do exactly what he wants you to do, because he said so and wants X. Enjoy your time with your family and seriously, REALLY think about his behavior while you are apart.”
Read the original article on People