How a Lake Garda Retreat Helped Me Reset and Breathe Again

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Lefay Resort & SPA Lago di Garda

On a bright, balmy morning in the early fall, I attempt to melt into the bench beneath me. My eyes twitch behind closed lids as the sun beats against them, while an alpine wind wafts strands of hair across my face. Flies buzz around my ears; a distant dog berates a passing motorbike.

I’m in the energy garden at Lefay Resort & SPA Lago di Garda, a destination spa roosting in the silvery mountains above the town of Gargnano. Lefay’s Lake Garda outpost recently launched ‘Letting Go’, a new wellness program based around the principles of classical Chinese medicine, designed for those who want to “rediscover their true, authentic self and regain full self-confidence”. I’m embarking on my own personal quest of self-rediscovery—having received a dual diagnosis of ADHD and autism (AuDHD) earlier this year—so I’ve come to experience the program for myself, albeit a slightly modified version that accommodates pregnancy.

One of my first appointments, and a vital step in the standard program, is with Giuseppe Doronzo, Head of Lefay SPA Method Training. He’s about to re-teach me how to breathe: something that should be second-nature—it’s the first thing we do upon entering the world—yet is so astonishingly difficult to do well that it’s a wonder I’ve survived this long.

Despite our corner of the energy garden being as calming as possible, I have to strain to exorcise the ever-present tension from my rigid frame. Since getting my diagnoses, it’s become blindingly apparent why total relaxation is something I can’t ever remember feeling. “Many [late-realized] women develop strong masking strategies from an early age, appearing capable and composed while internally expending huge amounts of energy to cope,” explain Emma Mahon and Emily Wood of The Rooms of Knutsford, a British clinic specializing in assessment for neurodivergent conditions. As AuDHD author and advocate Leanne Maskell recently wrote in The Telegraph: “This is the truth of living with AuDHD, especially for women like me, who’ve spent their entire lives hiding their symptoms as a way to survive.” There are no lifetime achievement awards for performances like that.

“Contiiiiinue…” Giuseppe guides in a hushed, musical tone as I channel all of my efforts into slackening my spine, unclenching my jaw, and unfurling my fists. Responding to his gentle instructions, I inhale deeply from my stomach, hold for three seconds, and exhale through my nose, repeating for several cycles. This is followed by a shorter interval of chest breathing, which feels much more shallow and uncomfortable but also, strangely, more familiar to me.

Living as an undiagnosed autistic ADHDer for 34 years has trapped me in perpetual fight or flight, placing an invisible vise around my lungs. “The stomach and chest are home to the diaphragm, which allows the lungs to empty completely and thus renew their oxygen supply,” Giuseppe tells me afterwards. “According to Chinese medicine, the proper movement of breathing ensures communication between the upper and lower parts of the body, allowing energy to flow freely without blockages.” As I eventually surrender to the exercise, incorporating both the stomach and the chest in a final series of conscious breaths that draw in air with my whole being, the phantom grip loosens, and I taste a hint of that sweet, free-flowing energy.

‘Letting Go’ was created to rebuild healthier relationships between overstimulated individuals and their present. Over the course of three nights, participants benefit from a combination of treatments and therapies aimed at grounding them in the here-and-now, including cooking classes, massages, and guided excursions. “We want our guests to break away from burnout, to reconnect with their senses and self,” says Roberta Rovelli, the Senior SPA Receptionist. And reconnecting is what I do over the next few days: an exquisite anti-aging lavender facial feels as if its scrubbing away years of camouflaging; a morning walk among olive groves and shaded woodland engages more than my under-worked calves; and even sipping a cup of floral tea becomes a meditative ritual. One afternoon, I forage for herbs that grow wild in the resort grounds, later using them to flavor a dish of hand-rolled cavatelli in Chef Mariano Melluso’s holistic cooking class. With contagious nonchalance, he describes the three stages of pasta-making—stress, rest, shape—and challenges me, in the kindest of ways, to embrace imperfection.

It’s a reminder to stop glamorizing exhaustion and control, and to start prioritizing restoration and renewal. Whether neurodivergent or not, it’s a relatable concept, and Lefay’s ‘Letting Go’ program signifies a shift towards wellness travel experiences that champion our sacred selves. The ‘Rebalancing Bliss’ program at Sri Lanka’s Santani Wellness claims to cleanse anyone addled by stress or zapped of energy, while the ‘Burnout Recovery Retreat’ at Zulal Wellness Resort by Chiva-Som in Qatar promises deeper links to one’s inner purpose. Recently, FUEGO hosted ‘From Autopilot to Authenticity’ in Mallorca, a retreat that seeks to reset participants’ nervous systems and reignite intention.

Getting assessed for ADHD and autism was something I wanted to do purely for myself, in order to understand and, perhaps, like myself a bit more. At the start of Giuseppe’s session, my sensory sensitivities and internalized hyperactivity threatened to derail my exact reason for being here. But as he submerges me in the transcendent hum of a Tibetan sound bowl, the noise of my usually unrelenting brain falls silent. It might not be a magic remedy for the hurt caused by three decades of masking and hateful self-talk, but it is at least one step closer to what classical Chinese medicine calls ‘Ming’, meaning “destiny or a spiritual mandate from heaven”: the freedom to fully be, and accept, one’s authentic self.

Originally Appeared on Condé Nast Traveler

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