A D.C.-area psychotherapist, who specializes in helping people deal with their grief after losing a pet, explains how former pet owners can move forward after the animal’s death.
Editor’s Note: This story is part 3 of WTOP’s “Pets: A Paw Print on Our Hearts” series, which explores the connection people form with their pets and the journey they take when faced with the loss of them.
Losing a pet can be one of the most difficult things to happen to a person.
Pets can feel like children, and many pet owners don’t want to imagine life without their furry friend.
“Grief is the other side of love,” psychotherapist Jessica Kwerel said.
Kwerel specializes in helping people deal with their grief after losing a pet.
“We grieve in proportion to how much we love. Feeling overwhelmed is normal. You are having a normal reaction to a tremendous loss,” she said.
The usual part of your life is no longer there when you get home from work or school, and that can leave a huge void.
Kwerel said losing her animals made her feel like she wasn’t tethered to anything and like she no longer had an anchor.
She said it’s important to get help to cope with the loss. Either try a support group where others are feeling the same emotions and experiences, or talk to a counselor.
Laura Manatos and her family leaned on one another while grieving the passing of their 15-year-old Yorkie named Gibbs.
“It’s painful. It’s horrible. It’s really hard and it’s part of life. And to dismiss the pain is not good for any of us,” Manatos said.
Another way some pet owners work through their grief is by keeping a display of the pet’s favorite toys, photos, collars and even an urn or keepsake box with their ashes.
The walls of WTOP producer Mike Jakaitis’ home he shares with his wife Kelly are filled with pictures of happy moments with their late Labrador mix named Barkley, who died at the age of 14.
The couple also has their dog’s favorite toys nearby in the home to glance at as they head out the door each day.
“Every day, my routine was to say goodbye to Barkley and now even still before I go to work I say ‘bye boy,’” Jakaitis said.
Some dog owners already have other animals in the home that can offer great comfort after pet loss.
The Manatos family have another Yorkie, which helped them get through some of the toughest times without Gibbs.
“She is bringing a lot of love to our family when we really need it,” Manatos said.
But is there a right or wrong time to get another pet after one dies? It depends on the person, but Kwerel said she believes pet owners should understand the new pet isn’t taking the place of the one that died.
Sometimes, the animal finds you. That was the case about seven months after we lost our Labrador named Raven to cancer.
While making donations of blankets and towels to a local rescue, a puppy “imprinted” on my husband.
“Skye” will never replace Raven, but she is quickly helping to heal our hearts.
Read Part 1 of WTOP’s “Pets: A Paw Print on Our Hearts” series here and Part 2 here.
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