What Is Matrescence? The Life-Changing Transition Into Motherhood That Every New Mom Should Know About

By helitra·November 14, 2026·8 min read

Key Takeaways

• Matrescence is the process of becoming a parent, involving physical, emotional, and identity changes.
• Understanding matrescence helps parents feel less shame around their conflicting feelings toward parenthood, and reduces feelings of guilt or failure.
• Asking for support and practicing self-compassion can make this transition easier to navigate.

When the topic of transitioning into life as a new mom comes up in one of Lauren Mahoney’s, PsyD, sessions, she says parents don’t always know how to name what they are going through. Instead, the conversation starts with the parent saying something like, “I feel off,” or “I don’t know why this is feeling so hard,” says Mahoney, a psychologist at Authentically Living Psychological Services. “I’ll ask her a few questions, and what comes out is not about the baby. It’s about her. It’s about how her days feel different. It’s about how her sense of self feels different. That’s when I introduce the word matrescence.”

Where Does the Term Matrescence Come From?

The term matrescence was originally coined by Dana Raphael in the 1970s to describe the transition to motherhood. “I try to describe it [to my clients] in a way that is a little more tangible. I’ll say to them: ‘This is not about having a baby. It is about becoming something new, yet still holding onto who you were. It is not an easy transition.’ I’ve also brought this into my classroom at CUNY…[and] the new mothers in the classroom will pause and say, ‘That’s exactly it. That is exactly it. I’ve been feeling this way, but I didn’t know how to describe it.'”

According to the social media and networking app for moms called Peanut, it’s seen 5000% increase in Google searches for the word [matrescence], landed the word in Dictionary.com, and reached over 10,000 signatures for its petition to add it to Merriam-Webster.

If you’re a new mother, and feel like your body and mind are undergoing a difficult transition that you have trouble describing, you may be going through matrescence. Here’s what experts say this term means, how it affects new moms, and what you can do to embrace it.

What Does the Term Matrescence Mean?

According to Lucy Jones, author of Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood, the term simply means the process of becoming a mother. She says that Raphael explained this rite of passage by noting the “changes that occur in a woman’s physical state, in her status within the group, in her emotional life, in her focus of daily activity, in her own identity, and in her relationships with all those around her.”

Becoming a mother is a significant developmental stage in a person’s life, says Jones. “Culturally in Euro-American cultures, we focus on the baby. But it’s a massive deal for the mother as well—physically, mentally, psychologically, neuro-biologically, socially, existentially, politically.”

Plus, she says scientists who have studied the maternal brain have shown us exactly how dramatic the experience is—as dramatic as adolescence, she says. “Pregnancy renders pronounced, consistent changes in the structure of the brain. We only knew this in 2016. This new frontier of discovery could have huge impacts on health and well-being. Everyone knows that adolescence is a major transition, but the experience of matrescence has so far been underestimated and neglected, with serious consequences.”

Jones says the science is telling us what many cultures across the world already know—becoming a mother involves significant changes to a person’s sense of self, identity, the psyche, as well as all the physical ones we are already aware of. “Combined with the epidemic of maternal mental illness, this suggests that as a society we have forgotten this rite of passage and we are neglecting to support, care for, recognize new mothers, whether through cultural rites or rituals, social support, adequate healthcare, or freedom of expression.”

Why Has the Term Gained Popularity Recently?

According to Mahoney, women are being more open about their inner experiences of motherhood. Yet, at the same time, they’re also being exposed to a constant bombardment of content that tries to make strict definitions of what motherhood is supposed to look like.

“I had a patient who was a few months postpartum, and she was telling me she was feeling like she was failing at something that everybody else seemed to be succeeding at. She was handling everything. Her baby was healthy, she was handling all her responsibilities, but she was feeling scattered and disconnected. And when we dug a little deeper, she was comparing her day to what she was seeing on social media, and she was feeling like she was not doing as well because everything was looking so put together on social media.”

The problem is motherhood is being co-opted by people with a certain agenda, whether it’s political, financial, or a way to gain social capital. “And what women are thinking is: ‘There must be something wrong with me.’ They’re thinking: ‘I wanted to have a baby. I thought I was going to feel great. I thought I was going to be happy. I thought I was going to be settled, and I’m not. I’m not feeling that way at all.'”

Before we had a term for matrescence, the conversation could end with someone saying that if things didn’t feel natural then maybe they needed medication or therapy. But she says neither of those options address that the parent in question is going through a radical transformation that needs to somehow process or come to terms with—there is a real change in identity, at work and that takes time to adjust to.

“Having a word for it changes how women talk about what they need,” says Mahoney. “Instead of saying, ‘I’m feeling overwhelmed,’ they might say, ‘I’m still adjusting’…and that makes a huge difference.”

Why Do We Need a Term to Describe the Transformation Into Motherhood?

Having a word like matrescence helps take off some of pressure to immediately adapt to motherhood, says Mahoney—and that this process is a normal and common part of becoming a parent, not a sign they are bad at being a mom. “There’s a lot of pressure on women to feel grounded. To feel like everything should click into place. And then they feel like they’re doing something wrong because it’s not.”

But when they understand matrescence, then they can see why the transition into motherhood, and its reshaping of their identity, is not as seamless as they were led to believe it might be—why they may not feel immediately connected to their child and why they feel uncertain about themselves, she says. “It’s not always easy to recognize it in the midst of it. It’s those little signs. Feeling like you’re moving through the day, but not really in it. Not really present. Having less space in your mind than you’re used to. Questioning decisions that used to come easily,” adds Mahoney.

In fact, it’s not uncommon for women to experience conflicting emotions around motherhood, such as love and grief, fulfillment and loss, confidence and doubt, says Ariadna Forray, MD, Director of the Center for Wellbeing of Women and Mothers at Yale School of Medicine and an Associate Professor of Psychiatry.

“Without language or acknowledgment for these feelings, they can be misinterpreted as failure rather than recognized as a natural part of change,” says Dr. Forray. “Naming and validating this complexity, helps reduce shame and guilt, which can adversely impact a woman’s mental health, and makes women feel less alone in their experience.”

How This Term Is Changing the Cultural Landscape for Moms

Mothers are offered inadequate healthcare and social support in a vulnerable time, says Jones. “The maternal mental health statistics scream that there is a problem with how society treats and values mothers and caregivers. The term matrescence offers a framework for thinking about this time.”

According to Jones, much of western culture and history, tells us that motherhood is boring, mundane, not worthy of attention and that mothering is unskilled drudgery—that’s a narrative that modern, progressive parents have mostly rejected, replacing it with the raw reality that mothering is hard, often thankless work. “Matrescence is filled with drama, terror, psychedelia, self-rupture, power, conflict, risk. It is also an opportunity for learning, pause, play, personal growth, and imaginative possibility.”

Ultimately, matrescence reframes these experiences as a normal developmental process that parents go through after welcoming a child, rather than a taboo personal struggle that needs to be hidden or kept secret, says Dr. Forray. “This validation and normalization helps move motherhood away from unrealistic ideals toward a more supportive framework. This, in turn, creates the space for personal and systemic change.”

She says when women can identify what they’re going through, they are more likely to articulate their needs and advocate for support. This support, whether it comes from a health care worker or a trusted family member, helps mothers realize that it’s possible to deeply love motherhood and still find it challenging, she says.

Tips for Embracing Your Own Matrescence

Mahoney says when she’s working with a client in this stage, she’s not trying to help them fix a problem. “I’m trying to help them understand it so they’re not internalizing it. And then we look at the specifics. Where are they feeling overextended? What are they holding onto in terms of expectations? Sometimes it’s something simple like looking at one part of the week where they’re not putting other people first. Sometimes that can actually help stabilize the situation.”

She says it’s also important to look at how much external input you’re taking in, particularly from social media. Sometimes that can have a huge impact on how you’re evaluating yourself without even realizing it. Pulling back from that, even a little bit, can help shift how you’re experiencing the day, she says. Dr. Forray offers some other tips for embracing matrescence: