Emma Judd was standing in the middle of a bustling street in Kolkata, surrounded by honking rickshaws and bright marigold stalls, when it hit her. At 63, she had never felt more alive.
Two years earlier, despite what looked like an idyllic existence – a lovely Suffolk house, dogs to walk, a family to organise and a steady carousel of lunches and village gatherings – she had felt quietly lost, as though life were closing in rather than opening up.
Now, travelling the world on small-group tours – without her husband – she haggles in bazaars, sleeps on overnight trains and savours a freedom she hadn’t realised she was missing.
“I’ve discovered a new, more confident version of myself,” she says. “The fire in my soul is well and truly relit.”
Emma and her son Harry featured on BBC One’s Race Across The World – Pete Dadds
An appearance in the BBC One reality series Race Across The World – with her son Harry, drummer in the band McFly – played an unexpected part in rekindling those flames. Now she spends her time inspiring other women up and down the country to follow her example by organising and leading tours to far-flung corners of Asia.
She has tapped into a broader trend across the UK. Many older women say they prefer to travel solo than with a spouse or their children, and are embracing small-group tours to rediscover independence and adventure at a stage when they thought these things were behind them.
‘When my children left home I suddenly felt invisible’
Like many women of her generation, Emma spent the first half of her life rooted at home. She married at 20, had her first child at 22, and was, as she puts it, “far too busy juggling nursing shifts with keeping the family show on the road to even contemplate international travel.” Holidays were spent close to home, in the familiar comforts of Southwold on the Suffolk coast.
“I chose that life, and I wanted it,” she says. “But looking after my family, losing my brother and then my father, and returning to nursing, left me completely all-consumed. My identity became tied to caring for everyone else.
“But when my children left home and had their own kids and careers, I suddenly felt a bit invisible and unsure of my role. You forget you were once your own person. You feel a little discarded and realise you need to find yourself again. You’ve done what you wanted – had a family, a career, ticked all the boxes – and then you think… What about me? What do I want to do now?”
Emma and her husband, Christopher, have learnt to encourage each other’s independence
Then one day an item in the parish newsletter caught her eye. The rector was leading a trip to eastern India, travelling from Kolkata to Bangalore. Having inherited a little money and with her pension to spend, Emma jumped at the idea. But her husband Christopher has never been keen on long-haul travel, so she asked a recently widowed friend to join her.
Not long before India, however, a last-minute opportunity arose to take part in Race Across the World, and complete a gruelling trek from Marrakech to Tromsø in Norway, with her son Harry. “The teenage me came alive,” Emma recalls. “I said yes with only 10 days’ notice. Nothing was planned, everything was unknown, and yet I thrived. I discovered I was capable of far more than I thought, like sleeping on the floor and getting from A to B with no phone.”
Emma and Harry completed a gruelling trek from Marrakech to Tromsø in Norway in the BBC series – BBC
“It was exhausting, constantly rushing from place to place on public transport with a camera crew in tow, but nothing compared to a night shift as a nurse,” laughs Emma. “Getting to spend a month with Harry was also incredibly special.” In the end, the pair finished second, missing out on first place by just four minutes.
It was on her trip to India, however, that the adventure bug truly bit. “It was total chaos and a complete shock to the system, but I felt alive… the smells, the sounds, the people. It was out of this world,” she says.
She relished the opportunity to absorb a world so different from her own. “Education is such a big part of travel,” she explains. “A friend of mine, in her nineties, told me she looks back at photographs from trips she did and reads about them to relive the experiences as she can’t travel anymore. You can research a place from a book, but it’s nothing compared to knowing what it really feels like.”
During her trip to India, Emma relished the opportunity to absorb a world so different from her own
After returning home, Emma was inspired to plan her own women-only trip to Uzbekistan, born from the companionship she found on her trip to India and a newfound confidence to lead rather than just follow.
‘It was like being on a mad school trip’
For the trip, Emma hand-picked 15 women from different corners of her life. She wanted to gently push them out of their comfort zones and show them they didn’t need men to travel. They included her neighbour Carol (who “wouldn’t say boo to a goose”), an old flatmate from her youth, her mother’s physio and several women navigating major life changes.
“It was like being on a school trip with all the madness,” Emma laughs. “We’re all a bit dappy.”
Emma hand-picked 15 women from different corners of her life fpr her women-only trip in Uzbekistan
She remembers getting hopelessly lost in Khiva, and a layover in Istanbul where a friend misplaced her passport. “If any men had been there, all hell would have broken loose. But we just kept calm and sorted it. That’s the beauty of travelling with women.”
Emma Rowan-Hamilton, 63, a retired stud-farm owner from Suffolk, who joined the trip, says: “After my divorce, I’d lost the confidence to take risks. But Uzbekistan was an amazing experience, full of laughter and constant learning. Since returning, everyone wants to hear about it. I feel I have something new to offer.”
Lottie, 72, a secretary from Shropshire who was also in the group, adds: “The holiday was a wake-up call. I’d spent years juggling work and caring for ageing parents, losing my identity along the way. This was precious ‘me time’ – a chance to reconnect, engage and share an adventure.”
‘No one thanks you on your death-bed for staying at home’
Emma admits she receives some criticism from old-fashioned friends who say she shouldn’t be spending so much money or so much time away from her husband. But she insists the trips have made her marriage stronger, and that her children are supportive. “No one thanks you on your death-bed for staying at home,” she says.
She and Christopher have learned to encourage each other’s independence. “Being apart does make the heart grow fonder. I come back fresher, with a new perspective, and we’re better at compromising,” she explains. “I’m happy to travel to Europe in his car and he’s happy to let me do my thing.”
Emma hand-picked 15 women from different corners of her life fpr her women-only trip in Uzbekistan
Back home, the ripple effect of this newfound independence is clear: Emma has joined the local choir and taken up golf, while Christopher now plays table tennis and practises the piano. “We’ve encouraged each other to have our own lives. It’s done us good,” she says.
‘Adventure before dementia’
For anyone thinking of embarking on a similar trip, Emma offers a few simple rules. “Have a bit of school-style discipline in a group,” she says. “Listen to instructions, pay attention to what’s going on around you and always turn up on time – it’s only fair on everyone else.”
She also swears by booking single rooms. “After a full-on day, you need your own space. An hour with a book before supper works wonders.” And if you’re flagging? “Don’t be afraid to take a breather from the group.”
Above all, she adds, don’t overthink it. “You’ve got to grasp these moments because you never know what’s around the corner. There’s a short window in life when you’re freer of responsibility, so go grab it. Adventure before dementia.”
Next on Emma’s list are Kerala, Bhutan and Pakistan. “I’m proud to have challenged myself,” she says. “It’s given me renewed energy and a sense of purpose. I enjoy just being me, rather than always being a mother, wife or grandmother, and not constantly trying to please everyone – though I do still enjoy doing that too!”
Emma documents her adventures and is looking for new travel companions. Follow her on Instagram @emmajudd52
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